Connecting to Unaccustomed Earth

"Unaccustomed Earth" by Jhumpa Lahiri follows the lives of eight different people. One of the characteristics that each character shares with the others is that he/she is in or has been in a dysfunctional relationship. Relationships are a focus of the novel, and since I come from a loving family with strong bonds, I find it very difficult to relate to the book. For example, one of the first characters that the author introduces to the reader is Ruma, a Bengali wife, mother, and daughter. Within a few pages of Ruma's introduction, Lahiri begins to hint at Ruma's poor relationship with those around her. One such hint comes in Ruma's description of her preschool-age son, Akash. Ruma mentions that although Akash is only three, "...she already felt the resistance, the profound barrier she assumed would set in with adolescence." (10) I find it very difficult to connect with Ruma through this statement because my family has always been very close. I love my parents and they love me. I feel as if Ruma is overreacting; how could she conclude from the actions of a three year old that he is resisting her and will only continue to separate himself even more as he gets older? A three year old is completely dependent on his parents for survival, so how could the normal Akash possibly be putting up a barrier between him and Ruma? Furthermore, outside of parents, there are maybe two other people who could possibly show Akash as much love as Ruma and her husband Adam, and they are Akash's grandfather and his uncle. A three year old may not know much, but they are able to tell who loves them, so why does Ruma feel like Akash wants to be separated from her? Because I have never felt the barrier that Ruma feels, and because I cannot imagine a three year old truly rebelling against his parents for more than just a trivial reason, I find it difficult to connect with Ruma. Furthermore, the absurdity of Ruma's feelings makes the book lose much of its power, as I cannot seriously believe that a mother feels that her three-year old son is rebelling against her.